If you've experienced trauma that you suspect has contributed to your chronic illness, and you've been feeling frustrated and defeated after trying various pain management techniques only to experience little to no relief, then you are not alone!
In this episode, ourguest FariGonzaque, and I share how to thrive with Fibromyalgia:
My special guest isFari Gonzaqueis a Transformational Health Coach, helping 40+ year-olds turn their challenges into gifts and discover their self-worth, self-love, and self-respect through bespoke supportive mentoring and coaching. Fari’s own battles with loneliness, imposter syndrome, and lifelong health challenges (such as fibromyalgia, depression, and ADHD) made her the coach that she is today. Through fitness, mindfulness, and healthy living, she was able to rise above her struggles and turn her pain into a gift—the gift of helping others.
Fari’s own battles with loneliness, imposter syndrome, and lifelong health challenges (such as fibromyalgia, depression, and ADHD) made her the coach that she is today. Through fitness, mindfulness, and healthy living, she was able to rise above her struggles and turn her pain into a gift—the gift of helping others.
"If these incredible women did what they did to get to where they are so they can write the book, so their book becomes like my daily Bible, now today, I need to be that platform, just like you are, to reach others and say, hey, let me help you. - Fari"
The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
00:04:04 - Childhood Trauma and Dealing with Fibromyalgia,
00:08:44 - Dealing with Depression and Frustration,
00:11:36 - Fear of Movement with Fibromyalgia,
00:15:50 - Finding the Right Exercise for You,
00:16:57 - Overcoming Chronic Pain,
00:22:17 - Mindset is Key,
00:25:48 - Healing and Growth,
00:30:30 - The Value of Support,
00:34:20 - Importance of Drinking Water,
00:37:02 - Benefits of Exercise,
00:38:04 - Addiction and Happiness,
00:39:39 - Daily Habits for Success,
00:41:58 - Conclusion and Call to Action,
Mindset is Key
A strong mental attitude is paramount in dealing with chronic pain. By cultivating resilience and embracing positivity, one can improve their outlook on life and manage their situation with more ease. Shifting from a victim mentality to a mindset of strength and determination is essential. This involves setting achievable goals, visualizing success, and chanting positive affirmations. Engaging in mindfulness techniques and stress-relieving exercises like meditation or deep breathing can contribute to a healthier, more positive state of mind. Fari stresses the importance of decision-making when dealing with chronic pain, choosing to take action and find solutions, or accepting and complacently living with the pain. Making conscious decisions to cultivate a positive outlook can significantly influence the outcome of the journey toward achieving better health and overcoming chronic pain.
Importance of Drinking Water
Staying hydrated is essential for overall health and managing chronic pain. Drinking an adequate amount of water throughout the day helps maintain bodily functions, lubricates joints, supports digestion, and flushes out toxins. Adequate hydration also ensures that nutrients are properly transported throughout the body, thus contributing to overall well-being. In the podcast, Fari ardently advocates for the importance of drinking water, as dehydration can cause a myriad of health complications. Sculpting a routine that incorporates drinking water, paired with daily affirmations and positivity, can promote both physical and mental health. Adequate hydration, alongside other healthy habits, can help individuals manage chronic pain more effectively while benefiting their general well-being.
Finding the Right Exercise for You
Selecting the right exercise is vital for managing chronic pain. Some individuals may prefer swimming, while others may enjoy pilates or brisk walking. It's essential to experiment with various types of exercises and consult with healthcare professionals to understand which physical activities are most suitable for you. This enables you to target muscle groups that may be causing pain or discomfort while avoiding those that exacerbate your symptoms. Additionally, focusing on low-impact exercises, pacing yourself, and incorporating rest into your routine can help prevent overexertion. In Fari's case, swimming served the dual purpose of strength training, and it allowed her to avoid putting extra pressure on her body. It's important to tailor exercise programs to suit each individual's preferences and limitations to achieve optimal results. The process of curiosity and discovery is crucial to settle on the right exercise plan for you. Engaging in enjoyable physical activities can contribute to a better mental state and foster a more positive attitude toward managing chronic pain.
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So in this episode, I want to give you a warning before you dive in, after the music starts. Our guests is being extremely vulnerable. And if you're anything like her or I, or any one you've met, who's living with chronic illness. Many of us have found that some of the things that we deal with as chronic illness warriors, Have been. A consequence in some ways of trauma that we've experienced in our childhood, in our life, wherever of the time stream. And Fari, our guest is sharing her experience. So this could be triggering to you. Especially if you have trauma in your life, so really honor. Yourself and acknowledged that, okay. This might be one of those episodes that in this particular episode, you might want to skip to the 10, 15 mark of the show. To really grasp more of the, what happens after what has happened for her. which is that even though our trauma is our trauma, right, how it can be turned into purpose and how acknowledging that trauma can help us to find the tools we need in order to cope and live through and grow through our challenges with our chronic illness. So just putting that out there. You have been warned Warned. In this episode we really talk about like mindset. We talk about mental health in this. We talk about the importance of finding tools to help you heal according to your body. Because feeling good in your body and living with chronic illness is not a one size fit. All. We talk about nutrition. We talk about food and movement and how both our guests Fari and I have found our own ways and how it's so important not to give up. So, let me tell you a little bit about our guests. Farhi is a health coach helping. 40 plus year old women turn their challenge into gifts. And discover their self-worth self-love and self-respect through bespoke supportive mentoring in coaching. Her own battles and with loneliness and imposter syndrome. And lifelong challenges of living with fibromyalgia, depression and ADHD has made her the coach. She is today. And I love that because most coaches, this is our journey, right? And we have turned our pain into purpose and through fitness and mindfulness, Fari has created a healthy living lifestyle. That she uses to help her deal with. Her, her challenges and rise above some of those struggles. And turn her pain into a gift. And she's using that gift to help others. And on the show, you're going to see how and what that journey looks like for her. And some really great tips that I just thought was, yeah. Some of the simple foundational things that we kind of just like gloss over that we don't give enough impetus to in our life. She definitely shares some in these things and recognize that this episode is take what you need right. Anyway. So many gyms in here. So many gyms that are going to help you. Really learn how to thrive and grow through the pain and grow through finding what thriving looks like for you. So be sure to stay tuned.
Welcome to She's Crafted To Thrive, a globally ranked podcast for women living with chronic illness and creatives in business. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, chronic Illness Warrior and photographer. Turn Digital Marketer. Turn Award-winning o I love helping chronic illness warriors and careers to live with their chronic illness and. Creativity as their superpower in life and business. On the show, you will hear the very stories that helped our guests, my clients, and myself, to define our dream way of making money with proven strategies and marketing and mindset, all to grow a business that thrives without sacrificing our health. So stay tuned because you'll find inspiration and tools and the resources you need to craft a life and business that thrives. I am so excited to have far on the show. Talk about a light. Y'all like when you get to hear her story and what she does, you're gonna be so excited, just like I was when I got in a conversation with her, I was like, Ooh, she's a spitball. So please tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do, and where you're from.
First of all, uh, thank you for having me here. It is so sweet of you and I'm so grateful to be here. So, yes, my, I am known as very transformation and my name is F as Frank, a r i. And I'm originally from Iran, but have been in the west most of my life. Left at the age of 20, went to England, was there 14 years, and now. 31 years in Los Angeles and in one week we're leaving the precious Los Angeles, which is not precious anymore. Are we moving to Palm Desert? It's because everybody's leaving. Los Angeles is, uh, is becoming a very. Unsafe and dangerous place to be. And, uh, we're leaving it. And, uh, it used to be a paradise, but not any longer. Mm. So, uh, I have been here as a fitness trainer and a life coach for the last 31 years coming up to that. And, uh, I have shifted to. Health and wellness. Basically the story of my life. It's my resume. I have no PhD from any university, but I have the biggest PhD from life.
Most of us do. And I'm glad you're about to share some of that with
us. Yes. And um, I was 27 years old, um, or 28. Who remembers? And London, I got diagnosed with, uh, fibromyalgia. Hmm. I had no idea what that was. And, um, I just, um, thought, and I wondered why did I get it? Like, what is it? Because I've always been into fitness. Hmm. But growing up as a child, I was a very fat kid. I mean like a capital F, capital a. Double tea. If you can say, I was really, really fat and heavy and I had never realized how much I was eating my emotions. Mm-hmm. And how much I was being traumatized with everything growing up. I was living in this family of, um, to be polite the most. Dysfunctional family, sisters and brothers of aids and, um, uh, parents, uh, very dictator father and I wanted to live around to run away from him. Mm. And um, one of the reasons I wanted to run away from him was that like I was, I think 16 or 17 and he. Spit the heck out of me. My father, he slapped me on my face, like not once, not twice, not 10 times. It was just going on and the nose bleeding was coming down. And finally I just started screaming. And then my mom ran out of the kitchen to come and see me and he, she pushed my dad away. And then he goes, I didn't find her in the street. That is your child. And he goes, yeah, she answered me back and she's not allowed to. And that moment when I could see feel of blood and my neck was hurting, and I said, I will leave this man, I will leave Iran, you know? Mm-hmm. And for you, legislator, I was waiting to get the, uh, age of 21. You don't have to have the permission of appear to make a passport. So all my papers and everything was filled up. And ready. The minute I turned 21, I applied for my password. Mm-hmm. And it arrived and I left Iran and I would never go back. And that was one of the reasons I was fat. I couldn't have a voice. I, and all that agony that I ate inside me. And then moving to England and a year after I left, um, Iran, the revolution happened, Iran, that you guys are probably too young to even know about it. And the trauma of everything in my life brought the fibro Maia in my life. And, uh, fast forward, I was in London, in, in fashion and there, and then I came to America and, um, My own challenges, it got me to become a trainer and I've been, uh, as I said, a very successful fitness trainer and life coach. But what got me to become a health and wellness coach is that as I grew older and as I grew with all this problem and agony in my body was. The reason. And then having these clients coming to me, even like I was 34 years old when I became a trainer. And um, I never wanted to train somebody that wants to say, oh, give me a six pack or give me an eight pack. Am I tummy? I always want, I was looking for people that they're having health issues and they were younger. Mm-hmm. And I said, Let me talk to you about it. Let me help you because no matter what it is, I was suffering from my joints and everything was bogging me massively, you know? And I said, let me help you. I do this, I do that, I do that. And that really ended up being the cause of number one, my own freedom. Mm. Um, my own, I'm not saying I am healed or I'm not cured, but learning to deal with it. Mm. And finding a gift in it and becoming a help for others up till now.
Yeah. I mean, there's so much that you know, that point about, I have a thing with people who are like, yeah, I mean, I'm never gonna be healed. I'm like, well, the, the word heal in our context when we say it is a process, it's like, It's always happening. It's not just one and done. And so to experience that with helping others, you know, to see how they are healing or learning about their bodies is really powerful to be able to see yourself. I know I have experienced that too with my coaching. There's things that my clients see that my, oh, there's a mirror I need to look inwards for myself. Mm-hmm. And deal with that. So for you, like how have you. Like, what have been some challenges in the journey of like being a, a health coach while dealing with your own chronic, you know, fibromyalgia and pain and the emotional and the trauma of all of those things? How have you dealt with that while growing a business?
Uh, the best way that I can help it has been through number one, eating super healthy. Because when you're flaring up, Your body, your joints are flare up. The more you give it sugar or the more you give it altogether carbs. But if you have to have certain carbs, which we all do, but a white carb is the worst of it. I didn't just say to a doctors, okay, fine, I got fibro. What pill should you give me? Mm-hmm. I wanted to get, dig into it and learn a lot about it and what is it and how you go about it. And because I used myself as my own Guinea pig, if you know what I mean. Mm-hmm. So I can use everything. Not only I lost 75 pounds weight. And, um, because I wasn't eating all that after I learned about it did, how much is. Damaging me and the more I was in pain. Also the sadness is that the depression comes with it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. When the depression comes with it, what happens? The frustration and anger comes up with it. You know? It's like a chain. Yeah. That just like. If, if you don't, this chain grabs you like this, look at my fingers. And it goes like that. Mm-hmm. If you feed it, this is gonna stay like that, but if you feed it better, then the chain begins unravel like that. Mm-hmm. And this, that's staying in here is the core of the pain. That is the trauma that we were raised with. Yeah. I, um, follow this. Incredible doctor. His name is Dr. Gabo Matte. He is a psych psychiatrist from um, Canada, but if you Google him, he's. Incredible how he breaks down everything. And he says, um, um, he was born 1944 and the, um, Jews got freed from Hitler, 1945. So he was, he always says he's the result of the trauma. His mother was carrying him. Mm. And uh, When he says in Anglo-Saxon, um, healing comes from the word wholeness, and the wholeness come from the word whole. When they say, are you healed? It's like, Go back to all, you know? Mm-hmm. And you can say yes and no. That's why I say I am not healed. I am not cured, but it is tolerable. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's the greatest lie If I tell you the fibromyalgia is out of my body and I don't feel it, and I am not willing to lie for that matter. Mm-hmm. But how can you keep it like calm? Yeah. That you can live is the question. Yeah.
I mean that's, I, I have felt the same way. You know, I get people in my dms all the time who are like, how are you able to show up? Like, how are you able to show up? And I'm like, well, I had to not show up first for everybody else. I had to show up for me. And so I hear what you're saying is that you had to deal with. What you knew that you needed to deal with in order to get to this place where it's not like always at the top. You know, you're not having a fibro flare, a tin all the time, but you've, you have found your way of knowing what your body needs and what it doesn't need, and when to pull, you know, when to pull back, when not to, you know, like what things you need to do to it to nourish it. Um, I wanna talk about a piece that you just said about. Trauma in the body and that cycle of when you are in pain. Mm-hmm. How that has a lot to do with what's going on in your brain, right? Mm-hmm. Um, for fibromyalgia specifically, those who deal with that, I deal with that. One of the things that I have experienced, and maybe others who are listening have experience, is that it's a lot of fear because what we're told about fibromyalgia is that. Well, let's just say for, for, for a second, like, working out feels like three times worse than someone who doesn't have fibromyalgia. Mm-hmm. Like the soreness and the pain and all those different kind of things. And so some people feel like really afraid to start moving their body if they have fibromyalgia. What would you share with those who have that fear?
I had a ton when I work out of the workout. Mm-hmm. When I lift weights and. Um, when I go for a fast walk or I used to be an excellent tennis player up till I was 54 when my tennis coach said in the tennis Mm. We were playing tennis and my kneecap went all the way to the back
of my knee. Oh my God. I know that feeling. Oh my God. Oh my god.
Yeah. He was awful. And my tennis coach said, when are you gonna give up? Hmm. And Anma had a severe, severe back problem, lower back problem. I do have discs on my back because of five, five because of martial art, but the pain that I have is not from the disc. The, the pain that I have on the left side of me is called QL and is called is Worm. Is this chunk of a muscle right here that. Connect keeps your upper body straight. Either you go like this or you go back up straight. It keeps you upright and that has always, always been attacked with fibro margia for me. Mm. And my shoulders, mm, hips, knees, you know, so much so that, uh, and it hurt me so massively that I kept on having surgeries on my knees. And, uh, this year, finally February, and then another one, eight weeks away in April, I had to have knee replacements. You know, so I'm not talking out of being pain free. It's not existing. Exactly. You know? So what I do do is that I do work out, one of the best workout for me is like literally the best workout. I have a special gloves that I put in my hand that, you know, when you go and swim in the pool or you do water aerobic, it's just water. So the biggest swimmer is. They don't build muscles in the swimming pool. They make stamina. Yeah. Mm. You know, is a, um, endurance or strength training or, you know, um, ma building strength, uh, The strength for the, the stamina for you. Like you wanna go jog, you can do jogging, that jogging in the pool, so mm-hmm. You really get a lot of stamina, but it doesn't make muscles. So biggest swimmer is they're outside of the pool, four or five hours a week and the day lifting weights. They want that. They go compete. Mm, my boss, my ex-boss is a massive swimmer, but she never wanted to do any weightlifting, and she's very slender and very tall, and when I saw her, she goes, fire. My muscles are falling and droop and everything is mushy because she refuses to do weights. Well, there's a price to pay, right? So I do my swimming, but I wear this special gloves. It's a piece of li can order it online is like $10. And when I go with that into the pool, and when I tell you the water becomes 20 pounds on each hand, I probably haven't set it enough. So I'm lifting the weights as I am swimming or I'm doing the water aerobic. And then when I come out of the water, my body is tired. Mm, but it's not in pain. Mm. I'm a certified yoga teacher and a Pilates instructor for years and years. I trained people, years, I trained people on Pilates, but the minute I got on it, it hurt me most. So some people like yourself, you get freedom when you're doing the Pilates. Mm-hmm. So there's not one, uh, size fix all. Yeah. Every person has to try the different things and work what I do say. For me, this is not a prescription for everybody. Again, because this is dangerous to talk, you know? Yeah. Massively from all my, one of my doctors, they wanted to take me like 17 pills. I said, I refuse. I'm not doing it. I will not take all that pills. I have fought my doctors until one rheumatologist, maybe four years ago, five years ago, she said, he says, sorry, just take this one single pill at night. You will be able to function and God bless him, that take every night because it didn't matter what I did or I didn't, even if I lie down flat for 12 hours or I walked, or I didn't, no matter that pain on my back would not go anywhere. It just wouldn't leave. Like didn't matter. That one pill that I take takes this pain away so that I can function throughout the day. Mm-hmm. And. Activity at first is really painful for people. Mm-hmm. Fibromyalgia with people with lupus. I have these clients, I deal with them all the time, you know, and. At first everything is painful. Yeah. But once you get on it and you stay on it, and if you just have that mindset that I am getting on whatever that I am doing, and I am not focusing on my pain, I. I am focusing on off the word results and just go visualize yourself. The power of visualization and how we can see ourself better off outside of the workout, better off outside of getting outta bed and walking and going somewhere to do The power of visualization is immense, but are you willing to do that is the question.
That's the question, right? Like that's the, that's the question. Are you willing, I mean, I think all of us have to decide, you know, I, I don't know about you Fari, but I have had people like, I don't understand how you can deal with all this pain and you've had these pains and you continue to show up and you have this light just like you do fari and like you enjoy connecting with people. And I just don't know how you live, like I don't understand, but you have all these things and my question to them, which I'm gonna ask of you, is what's the alternative?
Exactly what I was just gonna say. People may say, oh, I dunno how you do it. I get that all the time. Oh my God, I cannot understand it. How is that? And I said, I have a question. Do you have any other choice? Right? Is there any other choice? And the answer is yes, there is another choice. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Change your mindset. Mm-hmm. Being that victim mentality. That why God, me, or why should that happen to me? Mm-hmm. And my answer to that is, why not you and I? Mm-hmm. There is a reason that we go through this, not for you to have a pity party for yourself. For you too. You realize this must be this pain that I have for 31 years of my life, or maybe more than that because I was diagnosed in London, so since the 27th, but, and I'm now 65, so for more than most of my life. Mm-hmm. You know, it's been the reason I use this pain as a crutch under my arm and I hop and go and I say to the world, look. Look at me. Let me help you. Mm-hmm. It's the gift in this. It's the gift in this that you want to absolutely get yourself out of this misery. I remember they were Oprah Winfrey were was interviewing Maya Angelo and Maya. Angelo was one of the biggest role model. Maya Angelo and Mother Teresa. These two like, and then I should always put Linda, lady Diana in this, because I lived in London and I went through. And when she passed away, and it was like they took my queen away from me. Hmm. And when Maya Angelou passed away, I was so sad for Alana. I said, who am I going to not to check on too? You know? And Maya Angelou said they were asking her that she, when she was younger, she was like, she was very tall and she was lying down on the side, on the carpet, um, and writing forever. You know, and she had health challenges in her body and they said, well, that had, and then she goes, well, if I sat and worry about my pain, then I wouldn't have written. And she didn't have money to buy furniture. She didn't have money to buy, um, chairs and a table to put it onto sit on it. She didn't have it. So she goes, two things. Either not write what was in my head to save you all today. And sit or, and sit and feel sorry for myself or just say, okay, I'm just gonna lie down here and let the pain kill me. Or just say, doesn't matter how much I'm pain in, in pain, I will use my pain. And I change side. I sit, sit this way, this way. But then it would be uncomfortable for her to be on the side that if she couldn't write with hand and she was, I just had to write the box until she could do it. And that always stayed with me. If these incredible women did what they did to get to where they are so they can read the book, so their book becomes like my daily Bible, so I can read them and feel better about them. Now today, I need to be that platform just like you are to reach others and say, Hey. Let me help you. Number one to change this up here. Yeah. You're mine. Yep. All about what's in your head.
And it's so much as mine, ga like it is. I, I read it somewhere where it's like the brain is the boss. Okay. Like it is the boss of all of the stuff. Okay. Like, and if you can't get up here, right. If you can't. If you can't see, to me it's two choices. Just like you said, it is two choices. Either you are gonna figure out a way. Yeah. Or you're not. Or you're or, or you're not. You know? Or you're not. And if you're not, then you're also saying, I'm okay with where I am. Absolutely. That's the choice. This is something I tell my clients. Okay. I'm like, it's, it is totally your choice, right? It's totally your choice, but understand the choice you are making.
Correct, correct. I have, um, this, uh, lady, she's been my client since 2007. She's a psychologist. She has, she's bipolar, uh, borderline, you name it. Her children don't wanna talk to her. Her husband doesn't wanna be with her. Her friends drawn away from her. And when she comes here and she sits and I say, I want you to write down what's in your head. She writes it, but she's also fighting it. Mm-hmm. And it's all about what is not, what's in her head, what happened to her. Mm-hmm. When her mother was carrying her and what happened to her mother. When her mother was carrying her. And what happens? Go back to back, to back, back again. If you, anybody that suffers from that depression listens to this Dr. Gabo and you listen the way they go back to generations, like why did all of that that we got? The result of it is today? My mother never wanted me to be born at all. And she actually told me, and I dunno why she told me repeatedly not, it wasn't a secret sh she never wanted me to be born. And she said she did everything in her power to get rid of me. And I was sticking there and she said her belly was getting rid and she would hit her belly. She goes, go, I hate you. Go leave me and I don't want you to come. And it can you imagine, somebody says You all your life and my mom will be 90 in three months. You know, and the other day I just mentioned it, she's been, luckily for herself, she's been hit with early stages of dementia. And I said, do you remember those days when you were carrying me and you told me about that? Because I don't even remember carrying you, you know? And it, thank God for that because it hurts her more. And she, all that, that she did to not want me. I've forgiven them. I have learned that the only way for, that's one of the biggest lessons that I have to, uh, you said what did I do to heal myself, to make, make me feel better, is that to, I have been the most ang person on a planet earth. Because I was fed anger from a time I was created in my mother's wombs. You know, womb, you know, I was created, I was fed, anger. Their arguments and all of that was the foundation of Fari being created. You know, well, I needed to undo all of that and go through it all. I wasn't ready to go and sit to a therapist and talk to a therapist, but I've done so much research and dealing with all these sick. People as my clients for the last 31 years, I can't say did I have hundred people? Did I have 1000 people? Because I was doing group classes and I was doing individuals, you know? But getting them all to be to where they got and watching them going through this process. Was also my healing journey. Mm-hmm. You know, feeling how I am helping them to undo their own piece. It's like an onions. Mm-hmm. It sure is. The onions, the top of onions is got this fe hard, yellow, green, white, whatever, skin you buy it and look how many layers you have to undo and unpeel. Mm-hmm. Unpeel unpeeled until you get to the core of it. You know, and I needed to do all this. That's why I did so much exercise in my life. I was playing tennis in the wet of London with balls getting wet, and I was running like a lunatic going around it. And I would, if I could, I'd be climbing the, um, the, the, the net, um, you know, the wall that they were separating from the other, the tennis court until they started building tennis courts indoor in London. It wasn't there 45 years ago when I got. London, you know, an activity that I, I would jog until I fall down underground and I would be crying and I scream and I would talk and I was just like, at that time it was why, you know, because I didn't know any better. Mm-hmm. You know, and all of that, that I went through, it became my healing perhaps. Of course. Many, many, many reading books. Incredible amount of, uh, webinars that I did. Um, and, and to this day, I do, you know, but the pandemic kind of like made thank goodness everything online, so mm-hmm. I'm, and then being angry. I couldn't have any relationship. I got married in London and I got divorced. I had Zions of relationships in here, and I just didn't, I would get bored with him, and I just wanted to just go away from me because all I saw in them, The anger and the frustration that I had from my father and my brother, one of my brother, you know, and it was just there until I could go deep down in, and even with my current husband, please God forgive me, the first year or maybe the second year that I was with him. This man is like, If you can call that, it's like, if there is a walking Jesus on this planet, earth is this man. And I so mistreated him. I was so nasty to him because I was still feeling nasty within me. Hmm. You know, and digging deep. It wasn't easy. I'm telling you, it was the most difficult thing to do and that's why I wanted to everybody to know that you can't do this alone. Mm. I had all these groups that I was going to, all these books that I was reading, zillions amount of people, that they were there to be my sport. This is not a journey that anyone can, when you're depressed, you can't be by yourself. Mm-hmm. Somebody has to walk you through this agony, this pain, this frustration. Why are you so angry? Mm-hmm. There is a reason behind it.
Yeah. You know, that is, that's, you know, that's a powerful point. I, I agree with you about the needing someone there. I, I mean, at the, at the darkest of my journey, the only reason why I am here today is because I said yes to help to a friend who experienced the same thing, and I thought, Well, she could do this and like get through this. Then maybe, maybe I can, I didn't even fully have faith that I could just, that maybe wait like 1% maybe. Mm-hmm. And I tell people to this day, I'm like, without that. Without, and that was, that was more of a answer to a prayer. At the darkest time was I able to be able to see, and now when I look back, it's like, no wonder it was so hard before because I was trying to do it by myself. Mm-hmm. It's impossible.
Right? 100%. 1000%. That's why there are help. Look, I have arms, I have legs, they move. We're moving, we can pack and you can do it. I can't pack anymore. Choose not to pack anymore, right? It fix my nails. It hurts my back. Yeah. My knees on two noon. Um, uh, titanium, uh, knees. I have to drop my rocks and accept the fact I need help. Mm-hmm. I hire a company. They come on Wednesday, they're gonna pack us, they move us, they unpack us, and they say goodbye. They take their money. Mm-hmm. I can't do it by myself anymore. Yeah. That's why help is needed for that purpose. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you feel, do you feel like, and I personally feel this way, especially if you decide to run your own business and you live with chronic pain, the idea that you can do that by yourself with no support, no coach, no virtual assistant, no, um, contractors to me is like, how,
how, how else, how else? I think so. How much. Within this last, I, I don't go back to back how much money I paid in past. Forget that. Mm-hmm. The one that I remember in this two years when it ends is December 31st. That I know I pay the last bill for it to get all these help that I need for the, um, you know, for the, um, media, for, for whatever that I do, that I, to get my business to be known out there because it's now virtual. Just within this two years, I've paid $40,000 for it. Yeah. You know, and because I don't know, computer, I need help. Mm-hmm. I'm not a web designer. I need help. Mm-hmm. You know, it's just, I need to help to, I have to have a team to help me. Yeah. To go to where I want to go. Yeah. You know,
and, and if you are living with chronic pain that is like its own full-time job. I don't think people realize that, especially if you're in the, in the journey of taking better care of your body, the flu you put in your body, the movement of your body, that takes time. Like Pilates is not a 15 minute workout. Like yoga is not, I mean it can be, but it's like in order for you to feel the benefits of those things you get in the pool, like you need the time to do it regularly and consistently. Mm-hmm. So it's like one of those things that I always tell my clients too, and I don't know if you share this with yours, is like to have the support systems around you allows you to be a more healthy version of you.
100%. Well, think about it. They always say if they wanna judge you, they judge me who you are associating with. Mm-hmm. And where you go in life, it depends on who you have around you. Mm-hmm. If I want to be successful as I am mm-hmm. I want to be a bit successful people. Right. If I want to be healthy. I want to be with healthy people. Mm-hmm. And that's why I become this vessel, to help those that they are not healthy, but they want to become healthy. Mm-hmm. But all of it, it only happens from your mind. I have one thing in health to, I'd love to share is that, The simplest way that you can help yourself, number one is that to start drinking water. So many people, including my own husband, he's an athletic guy. He is 68, but he's lean, he's in a very good shape. Um, he's a beautiful man and he's got, I don't think he's got an ounce of fat on him. This guy, he's, as I said, he's 68. A couple year and a half ago, he gets up to go to the bathroom. Five o'clock in the morning and I hear, boom. He woke me up. I get up the door for the bathroom is closed and I had bruises on my belly and I just pushing the door or cooling him. He's not answering me and I'm trying to open the door. His leg is extended behind the door and his locking the door. I am five five, and I'm a hundred and like 60 pounds. Weight. I'm not skinny. I had to glide my body with this much space to go in. My pa husband has PA passed out on the ground. He, his head is against the wall. His head is like this and all I see blood coming from this side and his leg is extended and locked the door, and I couldn't go in forcefully. I got myself in there and I tried to get him. He woke up and he goes, what's the matter? And he had no idea what happened. Hmm. Lots of people grew through lots of problems with the lack of, um, water, hydration, hydration. So I said to people, did you drink water? Oh, I just had like two glasses. I said, darling, what I drink? But this is my juice that I blended and I make it. And this was full, is like 20 ounces. It's gonna be finished in a minute. What you drink now is gonna take 72 hours to help the dehydration in your body. Once you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated. You must drink, especially people. No, it doesn't matter. What is your problem? Ms. Lupus, uh, fibromyalgia, whatever, heart problem, stroke. You must drink if you weigh, I weigh 160 pounds. I have about eight pounds extra on me because of my knee surgeries. Mm-hmm. I have to have 16 glasses of eight ounces a day. So if you weigh 150 pounds, you need 15 glasses. If you weigh 200 pounds, you need 20 glasses of water. Now. If you're not gonna do that, then take five glasses off and make sure you drink. The more you drink, it helps the depression. Mm mm And people say, well, I just went for the first time walk for 15 minutes. Uh, I was on the bike for 10 minutes. I think it's a good start. I said, no. It takes 20 minutes from your brain to send a message to your body. You working out. So the first 20 minutes of your workout, it's allowing your brain to get connected with the rest of your body. Mm-hmm. And after that, when you do another 20 or 30 minutes, it's gonna be the fat burning. And when we start burning fat, It fastens up the work of your brain. It brings that happiness in your head and heart. Now, somebody can say, listen, I'm too skinny. I don't have any fat, but you still need to work at, and you still need to do that 20 minutes. Bring your brain and your heart together. You bring something in your body that makes you happy. There is no app for happiness. Sorry to pronounce that there's Yeah. No, but there is no app for happiness and happiness. As one of my coaches was saying is an inside job. Mm-hmm. It's not an outside. People say, oh, when I eat the potato, I'm happy you're lying. Mm-hmm. You're lying to yourself. You're feeding your frustration. That's another kind of addiction. Mm-hmm. When you are more than what you need to be. Again, if you listen to this doctor was saying about addiction, addiction comes from the Roman world, that it comes, uh, addicts. And the translation for it is a slavery, it's a slave. Mm-hmm. So in those time when they had people that they couldn't pay their fees, they would keep them as their slave. So they do the job. So you are addicted to that thing to do the job for you. And the guy who was interviewing me is very much into work at, cuz I'm addicted to work workout because, You have a passion for workout, because I always say my addiction, my daily cocaine is my workout. And I learned from him, oh, it's not addiction. Well, maybe it is. It is. My daily passion is the workout. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So that's, you want to switch it into a passion and you can do it by yourself.
Yeah. So good. So good. Fari. Well, thank you for sharing so much with us today. I think if you, if people were walk away today after listening to this, what are two things that you would want them to take action on besides drinking water, because that's the truth
activity. And have bright light on them first morning when they wake up. Mm. One thing. It doesn't matter how handicap one can feel. Get up in the morning, have a piece of paper for you by your bed, and go in front of a mirror, look at yourself and say some amazing sentence about yourself. I am healthy. I am successful. It doesn't matter how you look. I am beautiful. I can do this. And write down all of that. Look, put all the lights on by your, in your bathroom. Let the lights shine on you and pour the water on you and start talking and saying that that is the wonderful way of getting up. And when that's one, and when you get up in the morning, have a glass of hot water or any kind of water that you can. Start your day with that. Allow your system to get that liquid in it. They always say, um, stroke hits between four and seven and 7:00 AM If you have water in you, you won't be able to get the stroke. So have that affirmation. Go in front of a mirror, put the lights on, and pour the water on yourself and say everything that you don't wanna say to yourself as a positive thing to yourself. Hmm. Love it, love
it, love it. Well, we will have, how, how can we, how can they find you if they wanna get to know more about RI and. Yeah, connect with you. I
can send you my link tree. I have all of it in Link Tree that I can send you and um, uh, shall I send it
Tina now? No, we'll grab it after the show, but you guys can check the show notes. You can have that.
But the very simple way is that my email is the easiest far at far transfer. Dot com. Yeah, and far is f as frank a r i. Just for letter far far transformation.com and um, I'll be happy to help anyone.
Perfect. Thank you Fari, for being
on. Thank you so much for having me. This was wonderful. All right,
y'all. That's a wrap. Thank you for listening, and I hope this conversation inspired you. Be sure to visit the email@example.com to check out the show notes and grab all the goodies that I or the guests mentioned in this show. Join us for our next one. In the meantime, remember, you are crafted to thrive.
In pursuit of her happiness, Fari left Iran at the age of 21. She chose England and America as her home for the last 44 years.
She has been a Fitness Trainer/Holistic Transformational Coach in L.A. for 31 years.
She found her gift in transforming her own life, dealing with imposter syndrome, ADHD, PTSD, fibromyalgia, dyslexia, and depression. She mentors her clients to discover their self-care and the gifts in their challenges and trauma; Consequently, they heal their relationship with themselves and others with EASE.